


Shadows

by YumeArashi



Category: Yami No Matsuei
Genre: Emotionally Repressed, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 01:22:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeArashi/pseuds/YumeArashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watari and Tatusmi are together, but is it enough?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadows

            Tatsumi wasn’t surprised to answer the knock on his door and find Watari on his doorstep.  Ever since the two had rather unexpectedly expanded their friendship into a physical relationship some time ago, Watari’s visits had naturally become more frequent.  What was unexpected, however, was the serious look on the usually-cheerful blond’s face.

            “Do you have a minute?  I wanted to talk.”  Tatsumi nodded, standing aside to let Watari enter.  The scientist took a seat in the living room, shifting uncomfortably.  “First of all, I think I owe you an apology.”  He shook his head at the secretary’s surprised look, wordlessly asking to be allowed to speak.  “I shouldn’t have let this happen,” he gestured vaguely, “let 'us' happen, without making it clear what I wanted.”

            Tatsumi raised an eyebrow.  “You make it sound like you’re the only one who bears responsibility for what we did.  As you may recall, I didn’t voice any objections to having a physical relationship, and I’m as much of an adult as you are.”

            Watari smiled wryly.  “I suppose I can’t argue that.  And I’m not complaining about the physical aspect of things.”  He blushed lightly, causing Tatsumi to smirk just a little.  “I couldn’t ask for more in that regard, really.  It’s just that....I never see you act like you care for me.”  He raised a hand, cutting off Tatsumi’s protest before he could even voice it.  “Oh, I know you do.  Last I checked, you’re not the kind of guy who’d get involved if you didn’t, and I’d like to think it’s not just the sex that keeps you coming back.  But I’d never guess it from the way you behave towards me.  Ok, you’re a reserved kind of guy, not really the romantic sort, I get that.  I’d never ask for public displays of our relationship or anything.  But even in private - hell, even in bed - there’s never any affection, any tenderness.  You don’t even call me by my first name.”

            Watari closed his eyes, not wanting to see the hurt on his lover’s face.  “And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you right at day one that’s what I wanted.  I’m sorry for not accepting you for the way you are instead of the way I want you to be.  I just wanted...I thought...”  He broke off, trying in vain to hold back tears.  “I can’t do this.  I’m sorry.”

            The blond Shinigami stood, only to be stopped by a soft, cool touch on his cheek.  Tendrils of darkness caressed his face and stroked his hair, the shadows of the room rising to embrace him.  Turning, he saw his lover hadn’t moved from where he stood, pain and helplessness warring on the stern face.

            “Watari...”  Tatsumi shook his head and tried again.  “Yutaka, I know...I know that I’m not what you need.  It’s been a long time, a very long time, since I’ve had anyone who was close to me.  I don’t always know...how to be, with you.”  He raised a hand as if to reach out to the other man, then dropped it again, fingers clenching uncertainly.  “But I want to try.  I can’t tell you that I won’t hurt you anymore, but if you tell me what I’m doing wrong, then I’ll be able to stop.  The only promise I can make is that for you, I will try.  Can you accept that, accept me as I am, accept that I do care for you, even if I can’t always show it?”  He looked away, unable to meet the other man’s eyes.  “If not, I’ll understand.”

            Watari studied his lover, feeling the phantom touches brush away his tears.  After a minute’s thought, he smiled at Tatsumi, a little wryly.  “If you can offer to be more flexible, then I can certainly try to be more understanding.  And what’s equally important, I’ll also try to be better about telling you when something’s bothering me instead of just stewing in private until it all blows up like this.  We got off to a bad start, but I say we chalk it up to a learning experience and try again.  Sound good to you?”

            In answer, he received a faint smile, and the tightening embrace of the shadows.


End file.
